Out Of Bounds: Fire Tom Coughlin!

There. Now I’m the first person to start the “fire Tom Coughlin” chants that persist every year even though he’s fresh off another Super Bowl victory and possibly bound for Canton. I’m sure some mooks will ask for his termination and now you can say that you heard it here first. It’s going to happen at some point and when it does, I grant you permission to fire off an angry email to that person’s place of employment and let them know exactly who they hired.

As I’m sure you all recognized, due to last week’s star-studded, jam-packed issue of The Aquarian, Out Of Bounds was forced to take a short-lived hiatus. But fear not, fellow sports nuts, for this writer is back and packing more heat than Aroldis Chapman’s fastball.

The New York Yankees are trying to avoid a Mets-like collapse as the final month of the season winds down. Once a whopping 10 games in front of their nearest divisional opponent, the Bronx Bombers are now trying to fend off both the Orioles and Rays. Six months into the season, I’m still not sold on Baltimore. They’re ninth in the AL in runs allowed per game and there are only four teams that have a worse run differential. Their lineup is pretty deep and if they do advance to the postseason, Buck Showalter will win Manager Of The Year. That being said, with Wei-Yin Chen as their ace, I can’t see them finishing in front of the Yankees. On the other hand, Tampa Bay boasts five stellar arms and if anybody is going to dethrone NY, it’ll be them. Say what you will, but I still think the Yankees end up as AL East champs.

Just when it appeared that the Red Sox couldn’t fall any further, they have officially hit rock bottom. Manager Bobby Valentine was asked by Glenn Ordway on WEEI Radio in Boston if he has “checked out,” and responded with, “If I was there, I’d punch you right in the mouth.” In his defense, I don’t think it’s fair to question a man’s integrity and ask him if he’s bailed on the season. Still, the Red Sox are making headlines for all the wrong reasons and even though Bobby V. stated that he wants to come back next year, I have a hard time believing that he actually will. Boston should wipe the slate clean, cut their losses, and move on.

I was going to write a very long, angry, detailed description as to why I think the Nationals are making the wrong move in shutting down Stephen Strasburg, but I’ll leave it at this: GM Mike Rizzo is making a colossal mistake. You’re going to shut down your ace when you have the best record in baseball because the kid might get hurt in the future? Injuries are a part of the game and I understand that he’s coming off Tommy John surgery, but the franchise has never won a World Series and they haven’t been to the playoffs since 1981! Jeopardizing your team’s chances of winning it all because Strasburg might tack on an extra 20 or so innings to his 160 that he currently has is just foolish. There is no certainty that because you’re trying to limit his innings that it’ll decrease his chances of getting injured (“Joba rules,” anyone?). It’s a shame they’re going to potentially throw this season away because a starter might get overworked. This decision could ultimately cost Rizzo his job.

The Knicks’ Amar’e Stoudemire has finally cleared the air and admitted that he actually didn’t punch that fire extinguisher in April. “It was more like a slap against the wall, but I caught the edge of the fire extinguisher.” He went on to say, “I’m such a passionate player. I want to win so bad to where sometimes I want to win, so I bring my passion and it gets confused with frustration.” Playing with passion? Good. Acting like a pissed off teenager when things don’t go your way? Bad. Don’t get the two confused. Kevin Garnett plays with passion and doesn’t turn into Wladimir Klitschko when things don’t turn out for the best. Instead of telling the “real story” as to what happened that night, he should have shut up and admitted that he let his team down. Here’s to hoping that he doesn’t make any more dumb mistakes.

And finally, we bid farewell to one of the most powerful, entertaining tennis players of all time, Andy Roddick, who officially retired after losing in the fourth round of the U.S. Open to Juan Martin Del Potro. A-Rod wasn’t the best tennis player we’ve ever seen but when it came to his strong, aggressive serves, everyone loved to watch him. I’ll remember all the times that the 2003 U.S. Open champion launched booming serves, exploded on court to the chair umpires, and made quick, witty jokes that always drew some chuckles. Nothing will outdo his 2008 press conference when he was asked about Novak Djokovic’s various injuries: “Both of ‘em? [Talking about Novak’s aching ankles.] And a back. And a hip. And a cramp… bird flu. Anthrax. SARS… common cough and cold.” When asked if Novak was faking injuries, he followed up with, “He’s either quick to call the trainer or he’s the most courageous guy of all time.”

You may not have been the greatest of all time, Andy, but damn, you were fun to watch. Enjoy retirement, sir. giorgio@theaquarian.com