It’s a safe bet to say that there’s never been a band like Schmekel (Yiddish for small penis). Guitarist Lucian Kahn, keyboardist Ricky Riot, bassist Nogga Schwartz and drummer Simcha Halpert-Hanson are all dudes, they’re all Jewish, and they were all born as girls. Their music is a bastardized combo of punk-rock, Klezmer (Jewish jazz), polka and comedy (Frank Zappa meets Henny Youngman) but much more profane. Influenced as much by early gay punk band Pansy Division as topical folksinger Tom Lehrer, they’ve been together for two years performing at colleges, benefits and local clubs in their Manhattan and…

In the popular poker game Texas Hold ‘Em, the concept of going all in is when you put all your cards on the table and offer up your life—win or lose—to the fates. This is exactly what super-duper guitarist Ned Evett did with the Adrian Belew-produced Treehouse. He left his wife, he left his life, he watched Boise, Idaho, disappear in his rear-view window. He went on the road opening for Joe Satriani on a six-month tour. While in Milan, Italy, he met King Crimson guitarist and singer Adrian Belew.

“My marriage of 20 years was dissolving anyway,” he…

It’s true. I’m really Elvis. He resides within me, alive and vibrant. Just like he resided within Andy Kaufman (1949-1984), the comedian, performance artist and wrestler. When Kaufman, most known for his Latka character on TV’s Taxi sitcom, did Elvis, that essence was revealed. It was no comedy bit. He truly was Elvis. So am I. So is Springsteen and so was Lennon. They’ve both said it. There’s just something about Elvis that lends itself to fanatical devotion. And the fact that Elvis himself stopped being Elvis towards the end of his life just makes his story all the…

So, next year the Rolling Stones will celebrate a half-century of being a rock ’n’ roll band. Are there any plans? They’re being coy. But I’ll tell you this: If the dear lovable, demented genius Brian Wilson can get back with the evil Beach Boy, Mike Love, next year, as has been announced, then Mick can make up with Keith over his literary transgressions in Life to properly christen the occasion with a tour.

I read Life this year and found it so riveting that I’d purposely read a page, then stop and ponder the deliciousness of it all…

Where It All Begins (Stax/Concord) is the sixth album from “The First Daughter Of Soul,” Lalah Hathaway, whose father, Donny Hathaway (1945-1979) recorded five ‘70s albums (two with Roberta Flack). Its 12 tracks bespeak a sly insinuating sensuality, perfect for her oh-so-soulful retro stance. If her dad was a crooner, she’s a breather, imbuing each track with colorful personality. Starting with “Strong Woman,” with stops along the way for the flirtatious “Small Of My Back” and “You Were Meant For Me,” one could get lost in a dreamy state of groove with Lalah’s style, her songwriting and that voice,…

My musical year was pockmarked more by what I didn’t go to than what I did. Elvis Presley, despite being dead, played Radio City Music Hall in February. I really wanted to see that big band and those back-up singers playing behind Elvis himself on the big screen complete with in-between song patter but, as usual, I stayed home…yet again. Hey, I’m getting old. And my patience with assholes has worn thin. Even at Paul Simon at NJPAC, there were assholes to the right of me and assholes directly behind me acting as if they were at a ball…

NEWARK, NJ—Paul Simon came back to where he was born to perform for the first time in his 47-year career, and he brought with him an octet that was so overpowering in its unerring syncopation, percussion and wildly diverse soundscapes that the sold-out crowd at this beautiful downtown venue couldn’t help but be transported into exotic ports of musical entry.

His brilliant new album, So Beautiful Or So What, was heavily represented, but the theme of the night was Surprise (the name of his previous album), the biggest of which came during his spoken introduction to “Mother And Child…

Country Music’s Ultimate Outlaw

Hank Williams (1923-1953) died in the back seat of his Cadillac on his way to a gig in Canton, Ohio. Hank Williams, Jr. was three. By the time he was eight, his mother pushed him out on stages singing his daddy’s songs. Ultimately, he rebelled and came into his own by writing his own damn songs. Then he fell 500 feet, face first into solid rock… and survived. When he took me up in his private airplane, he told me about his own three year old son, Shelton, who was already playing drums.

Flash-Forward 21…

Paul Simon personally picked the 32 songs that are heard in chronological order on the new two-CD Songwriter set (Columbia/Legacy) as indicative of his career. Obviously, he’s been startlingly consistent having written opener “The Sound Of Silence” (represented here by a previously unreleased—and totally haunting—live solo version at Webster Hall in New York City last June) in 1964 when he was 21. The final song, “So Beautiful Or So What,” was written earlier this year at age 68. Despite being written 47 years apart, both are poignant reminders of our human frailty. (Plus, they rhyme, and are easily hummable.)…

Sgt. Pepper Re-Imagined

In what has to be considered a left-field surprise, guitarist Andy Timmons has successfully struck at the soul of a little 1967 album by The Beatles called Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band by recording The Andy Timmons Band Plays Sgt. Pepper. All instrumental, with plenty of muscle, the album includes “Strawberry Fields Forever” (which was originally recorded, as was “Penny Lane,” for that album). Timmons did all the arrangements from memory, not once referencing the original recording. Adding “She’s So Heavy” at the end of “Being For The Benefit Of Mr. Kite,” for instance, is…