1- No matter how close your bus parks to the Guitar Center Weblab, you probably won't be able to upload videos to YouTube until your day off
2- If you spend your day off in a glorified truck stop called Little America in the middle of Wyoming there probably won't be Internet... there might be a bug-filled swimming pool though
3- If you are using a laminate that has a boy's name and picture on it and you are a girl, it's best to keep it mostly hidden when you walk around backstage
4- Venues with real bathrooms metaphorically sparkle like diamonds in a gravel pit
5- It's a good idea to take lots and lots of Airbourne, especially when half the people on your bus have a bizarre strain of illness they can't seem to recover from
6- You should think really really hard before you bring a baby to Warped Tour in 103 degree heat
7- A "Late Bus Call" is the best drink in the entire world and besides vodka and watermelon I have no idea what's really in it
8- Musicians smell incredibly bad when they haven't washed their clothes in a few weeks and they play a show
9- You will smell bad too if they rub their dirty clothes, dirty show sweat on you after they play
10- You didn't come on Warped Tour to take showers
