Rant ‘N’ Roll: The Monster Abyss

He’s from “Parts Unknown,” six feet eight and 350 pounds of seething resentment, anger and psychotic reaction. Woe be those who get trapped running into his finishing move, The Black Hole Slam. A tortured individual, he’s probably the most barbaric and hardcore brawler in the company known as TNA Impact Wrestling, which just signed a new deal with Pop TV in the United States. A former World Heavyweight Champion, Abyss may be a boiling cauldron of confusion of the outside, but inside? He’s a man of wealth and taste. He’s been around for a long, long career, stole many a man’s soul to waste.

That’s why it came as something of a shock when he lumbered into TNA’s six-sided ring at the Sands Event Center in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, recently to team up with Crazy Steve against Eddie Edwards and Davey Richards. After a spectacular grand entrance, Abyss was felled by a low blow right to his balls and fell out of the ring with a sickening thud on the cement floor. I thought I heard the cracking of bone. When Abyss re-entered the ring, he seemed slower, as if every move was labor.

That’s when the unthinkable happened.

Abyss was pinned.

That said, let me mention that this is a man, a beast, rather, not only proficient in the use of brute force, but quite adept as a skilled mat technician. Still, he usually foregoes his amateur background where he was 63-1 (the one loss coming after having to stay up all night with his invalid mother when she fell backwards down two flights of stairs), in favor of hardcore Pier 6 donnybrooks featuring blood, barbed wire, broken glass and tacks. I’ve witnessed some of these kinds of matches and they’re not pretty.

I attempted to contact Abyss the day after the bout after the lunch we were supposed to enjoy together was cancelled. He still hasn’t called me back and I’m concerned. You see, Abyss is my friend. I met the monster in San Juan some 20 years ago when he was a promising up-and-comer working for the International Wrestling Association (IWA) and I was the editor of Lucha Libre de Puerto Rico.

We hit it off immediately due to our combined love of rock ‘n’ roll, sandy beaches, beautiful women, dice, fine cigars and rice ‘n’ beans. I’ve followed his exploits up through his current gig with TNA. He doesn’t lose. The fact that he was felled by a low blow when he could have taken care of both Edwards and Richards with one hand tied behind his back was cause for concern. That’s not to say his opponents weren’t able competitors. I also worked with both Edwards and Richards in Ring Of Honor (ROH) and the both of them are as professional as they come, adding substance and style to their grunts and groans.

Abyss had left the building. No one saw him leave. He’s been known to disappear for days at a time but when you work for a major corporation like TNA Impact Wrestling with television commitments and titles to win, you don’t just disappear.

I hope my friend is alright.

Upcoming at the Sands: Aaron Lewis Feb. 11, Chippendales Feb. 20, Masters Of Illusion Feb. 21, Li’l Wayne with Rae Sremmurd Feb. 23, Dennis DeYoung (Styx) Feb. 26, Bill Gardell Feb. 27, Megadeth March 19, The Temptations March 25, Sebastian Maniscalco April 1, Gregg Allman April 2, Duran Duran April 5, The Illusionists April 14, Pink Floyd Tribute band Brit Floyd April 23, Jim Norton May 6, Lewis Black May 7, Ellie Goulding May 11, Don Rickles May 12, Tony Bennett May 14, IL Divo Sept. 30.