Deleted Scenes: The Ass The Door Hit JJ Koczan March 26, 2014 Columns Cliché has it that in print, you never get a goodbye issue. I believe it’s emblematic of the exceptional nature of The Aquarian that this is my second. This paper has been and continues to be something special....
Deleted Scenes: Out Of Body JJ Koczan March 19, 2014 Columns I had a vision today at the grocery store. My wife and I stood waiting at the self-checkout while a woman finagled with one of the dead-eyed teens working at the Stop And Shop for when she should put her cou...
Deleted Scenes: Miracles JJ Koczan March 12, 2014 Columns At press time, it’s not really known what happened to the Malaysia Airlines jet that disappeared carrying 239 people en route from Kuala Lumpur to Beijing this past weekend, whether it was sabotage, some kind o...
Deleted Scenes: The War Boner JJ Koczan March 5, 2014 Columns Notice that lump in the dialectic’s pants this week? Yeah, that’s the war boner. It pokes up every time there’s a chance World War III might break out. I’m pretty sure with this Russia/Crimea thing, CNN’s war b...
Deleted Scenes: Amid Shenanigans JJ Koczan February 26, 2014 Columns I’ll make this as brief as I can. As I write, it’s just after two in the morning on a Sunday night, and I am in Portland, Oregon, traveling with a band who played tonight at the Hawthorne Theatre here. It wa...
Deleted Scenes: Your Passion JJ Koczan February 19, 2014 Columns I got hit up today by a freelance cartoonist looking to have his work published and gave him the standard answer: “I’d love to, but we can’t pay you. Sorry.” The apology on my part was sincere, and I dug his wo...
Deleted Scenes: Anonymity JJ Koczan February 12, 2014 Columns On my work desktop are Aquarian tearsheets that go back to August 2004. They rest in case they’re ever needed—the ones that old almost never are—on a hard drive that has 869.86 gigabytes of a total 1 terabyte f...
Deleted Scenes: Cliché Kills Again JJ Koczan February 5, 2014 Columns If you’re hip and media savvy enough to read The Aquarian—which is pretty hip and media savvy in my eyes, let alone of good taste—then you’re probably already aware of who Philip Seymour Hoffman was, and alread...
Deleted Scenes: You Won’t Believe What This Week’s Deleted Scenes Is About! JJ Koczan January 29, 2014 Columns This cynical alt-weekly editor sat down to write a column about headlines… He never could’ve guessed what was coming… The brilliant webcomic XKCD not too long ago did a word-cartoon titled “20th Ce...
Deleted Scenes: House-Hunting JJ Koczan January 22, 2014 Columns We were in the car last week when my poor, long-suffering wife asked me, “So, are you excited to go house-hunting this weekend?” It is a personality deficiency on my part that I cannot be dishonest in these ...
