Deleted Scenes: Sick In Summer

I ask you, is there anything worse than being sick in the summertime? When you were a kid, at least if you were sick over the winter, it made sense. It’s cold, you have a cold—there was symmetry to it. Plus you got to miss school. But to be under the weather when the weather’s over 90 degrees, what’s the point?

Obviously I’m sick, right? Does that really need to be said? It’s gorgeous out, sunny, bit of breeze hinting at the fall to come, blue sky, just fantastic all around, and I can barely lift my head up to appreciate it. I’m in better shape than I was yesterday though, when the thought of even opening my laptop was too much to handle. This morning, I carried a basket of laundry downstairs and threw in a dark wash. So things are improving.

It all started last week, when my wonderful and adorable wife suddenly took ill. She called me from work to tell me she was throwing up and all kinds of sick and headed home to go to bed as quickly as possible. Seemed like the right idea. It didn’t last for more than a day, but apparently it kicked her ass fiercely. I found out just how fiercely at about midnight this past Saturday, when I woke up nauseous and unable to stand up straight for the aches in my stomach.

You ever vomit and have diarrhea at the same time? Like your whole body is in this super get-everything-out-of-me-immediately mode. Frickin’ awful.

I woke up no fewer than seven times between Saturday night and Sunday morning in similar straits.

Sunday I was utterly dead to the world. When I go a day without checking my email, you know it’s serious. I couldn’t even take my laptop out of the bag. Walking down the stairs was so much exertion that I had to lie down on the couch and close my eyes afterwards. I ate nothing. I slept for about 18 hours. It was brutal.

But then it was over. I never threw up again after around seven in the morning Sunday—nothing left to puke—and though I was weak, my stomach hurting and my head pounding, it only got better, not worse. It had been the same with my wife. A 24-hour bug with some after effects. She’s stronger than I am, but still, I’m on the road to recovery.

Although, I say that and all this sitting upright is starting to get to me. Maybe it’s a work-from-bed kind of day after all…

To your health.

JJ Koczan